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“The people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world are ones who do.” -Apple, 1997
RIP Steve Jobs, a true hero.
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Mo, the Morselist (a.k.a. Maura, the actor) had the pleasure
of playing Dani Jacoby’s (a.k.a. Dani California) Mom on a Commercial for
Mini Cooper a couple years ago and continues to be impressed with this young, yet very accomplished woman.
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Dani is an actress, self esteem/anti bullying advocate, teen stylist,
and founder of Dani California Outfits and Be Heard.
It was after her own experience of being bullied,
that Dani combined her love for fashion with her passion for helping others,
by founding these two award winning websites.
Through her websites and advocacy, Dani has provided a safe place for victims of bullying
to share their stories, feel empowered, and most importantly,
be heard, and also put together and styled over 2,000 outfits for people worldwide.
In addition, Dani also has had the wonderful opportunity of speaking locally
to groups of teens at schools, camps, and events about self esteem, positive body image, and anti bullying.
Dani is also proud to be involved with several organizations and individuals
who all share the mission of empowering and inspiring others and
helping to put an end to bullying.
You can visit Dani’s websites at http://www.youneedtobeheard.
You can also follow Dani on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/
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Would you share some statistics about bullying in America?
1 out of 3 children and teens are bullied, and I am determined to change those statistics. Too many stories go un-heard and too many voices are lost in the process.
Please share your story about how and why you started Be Heard?
When I was 15 going on 16 years old, and I had a great group of friends who I trusted, and suddenly one of those friends turned on me. I was severely bullied in person, cyber bullied, and stalked all by this girl who I thought was my friend. She turned all of our close mutual friends against me, as well as a lot of the adults in my life that I trusted and respected.
After a few long months, lot’s of tears, and the support of my parents, I was convinced to not let her win or take over my life. I found out what the statistics were of other teens being bullied, and realized I was not alone. It was then that I founded my website Be Heard, a safe place for victims of bullying to share their stories, feel empowered, and most importantly, be heard and know that they are not alone.
Were you still in high school when you started this?
Yes, when I founded Be Heard I was 17 years old. I think this really helped with my motivation to create the site because I was witnessing so many others being bullied all around me.
When I was being bullied, I felt completely alone. I felt like an outcast in my group of friends and peers, and I felt as if it would never get better. However, once I made a decision to not let the bully win, I didn’t look back. I came out of the situation as a better stronger person and I would never do anything to change what happened if I could. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t been through this experience!
Did you witness a lot of other kids being bullied?
Yes, and the sad thing was, not many people were doing anything to stop it. I would see other children or teens be bullied and no one would step in. People were very apt to ignore what was really happening, or to “sweep it under the rug”. This really made me realize how important it is to not be a bystander, and to step up.
What is your main objective/wish for BE HEARD?
I want victims of bullying to utilize Be Heard in a positive way. A place for them to feel that they have a voice and are heard, as well as know that they are not alone, and they can get through this.
What are the top 3 reasons, in your opinion, that cause bullying behavior?
That’s a tough question to answer because I believe there are many variables that contribute to a child or teen becoming a bully. It’s common that children witness their peers, or the “popular” kids bullying others, making them think this is what they need to do to become “cool”. I also think that much too often the problem starts at home. Children are bullied by their siblings, therefore leading them to believe it’s okay to bully others outside of the home.
How can parents/teachers/other students help?
There are many things others can do! First, don’t be a bystander. If you see someone else being bullied, step in and stand up for that person, even if you don’t know them. Secondly, be a good listener. If someone comes to you about being bullied don’t just shrug it off. Listen to their story, offer advice if needed, and let them know that you heard them, and they are not alone. Lastly, something I can’t stress enough, is be observant. Keep your eyes and ears open for bullying. If you see or hear it happening, again, step in and see what you can do to help. I can say from personal experience that there is nothing worse than knowing an adult has heard or seen the bullying happen, but does nothing about it.
Are there signs to watch?
Every situation differs, but some of the main signs parents can watch for is their children or teens becoming reclusive, not wanting to participate in activities they usually would enjoy, and/or acting out towards other family members. If you see any of these things happening, talk to your child/teen about what’s happening, and approach the situation calmly, supportively, and with and open mind.
Are there educational tools you can teach/share my readers?
As little as 20 years ago, texting and internet really didn’t exist, therefore, there was no such thing as cyber-bullying. Parents can utilize the internet as a way to educate themselves on the current types of bullying compared to the types of bullying that took place a generation ago. Because the topic of bullying is so prevalent in today’s news, there are many resources available such as books, blogs, message boards, websites, and magazines. I’m a firm believer that the best way to help these victims is for parents and other adults to be educated on this topic and to know what to do, and how to listen, when a victim of bullying comes to them.
Here are some fantastic links regarding ANTI-BULLYING Dani shared:
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www.championsagainstbullying.
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It makes me so sad to hear of so many kids being bullied, seeing no way out, ending their own lives. My son has been bullied quite a bit too, for 3 years in middle school, he became so unstable, depressed, non-functioning at times. As a kid that is a bit “different” he was an easy target, as so many are. Out of this, now in High School, things are better. He even created a Anti Bullying character to wear, Angry Allen, (its on is website) Kudos to those of you who stand up, stand strong and overcome !!
Thank you, Kim
I agree..it’s very sad. Kudos to your son!
p.s. extreme makeover home edition has an upcoming episode that was in springfield, MA (phoebe prince was midway betw. us and springfield) where the son in that family also committed suicide due to bullying but got a lot less press than phoebe quite possibly because he was black.
So tragic, Amy. We should all be grateful to people like Dani who take an active stance against bullies! We should have ZERO tolerance!
we know the bully crap all too well. phoebe prince lived near us – about 2 towns away. same county!
I was bullied by my big brother A LOT! My mom apologized when I was about 13. But the bottom line was that if I really had to defend myself, I knew my wrath was much greater than anyone elses…so I tried to take as much as I could before I used it. Must be the red-head in me!
Hee hee! I KNOW the red-head POWER!
Thanks Mo for sharing Dani’s story…so important! Bullying can start at a young age. At my preschool, we helped the ‘victim’ find their voice and tell the ‘bully’ what or how they were feeling. Of course, the problems weren’t as dire as they can be when bullying continues into the tween/teen years, but it’s important to be able to stand up for yourself and to do that in the later years takes practice in the early years. Being given the words then saying, “No, you can’t have the (put in any toy) right now, I’m still playing with it. I’ll give it to you when I’m finished.” Is very empowering for one and eye-opening for another. (Naturally, the teacher is right there supplying the needed words if needed and overseeing the situation)
Yes, Karen, I agree.
It’s so important to nip it in the bud at a very early age.
Thanks for sharing…
Very appropriate Mo! Yesterday morning on Good Morning America, they mentioned that this, I believe, was anti-bullying week (or some form of that). It’s great that people like Dani are out there doing this!!
Being a rather shy kid, I was bullied all of the time in school, verbally and physically, and basically hid in the band room practicing my trumpet to stay away from all of them (and there were several bullies in my school). I somehow survived the ordeal and, to “make lemonade,” was the number 2 trumpet player in the state of Tennessee and got a full scholarship to college. Most of the people who bullied (oh, I would love to name names right now) stayed in our small town, never applied themselves and never amounted to much in life. You CAN win. Thanks again to Dani (and you, Mo for posting this).
Great story, Reece!
Thanks for sharing your “Lemon-ade” one!