Jury Appreciation Week

May 12, 2011. The day I completed my civic duty as an American Citizen
by serving on Jury Duty
at the Los Angeles Superior Court.
It also happened to be JURY APPRECIATION WEEK.
My heart skipped a beat when the morning judge announced this,
thanking all of us for serving.
My mind raced, “Jury Appreciation week! How cool!
I wonder what we’ll get. A balloon? Catered lunch?
A Coffee Mug that says “We heart our jurors!”
The long day ahead progressed tedious minute by
an even more tedious minute, hours dragged slower than frozen molasses .
(Yes, I have tried to freeze molasses)
Our 10 hour day finally came to end a little before 5pm,
after spending $15 on a less than satisfying salad and
$4 on a teeny bag of sweet potato chips
when we were excused with the a small green sheet of paper
proving our completion of service. Our “certificate.”
“Is that it?” I asked the Jury Lady.
“What do you mean, is that it?”
“Well, do we get a Coffee Mug in appreciation?”
She rolled her eyes and uttered a condescending guffaw,
“You got your certificate. Frame it.”
I should have reveled in my green certificate and called it a day, no a year.
Because that’s how long they are supposed to be valid. ONE YEAR!
My Jury Appreciation Week Gift, however, did not stop with my green certificate
nor was it a cup of coffee or a even a lousy t-shirt.
No, this lucky Morselist received a 2nd Summons for Jury Service, that’s right,
a 2nd SUMMONS!!
And in less than 2 weeks after completion from
what should have been the FIRST and LAST
date of service for the year.
You see, Morselites, you don’t know me that well, yet,
but you will soon learn,
my luck is NOT the standard ‘luck o’ the Irish.’
Mine is more of the
Worst Case Scenarios Handbook kind.
Months from now, possibly even a few weeks from now,
I will laugh about this,
as I do in almost all other scenarios,
but today, I am NOT laughing.
I am, indeed, peeved that the Los Angeles Superior Court
has flagged me “Exempt from any excuses because of FAILURE to report for service.”
No matter how many times I called to explain that I, in fact, completed my service,
the answer on the receiving end of the phone is the same,
“Our records indicate you FAILED to report; therefore you do NOT qualify for
any special requests.”
“But I have my green certificate.”
“I’m sorry, the computer doesn’t lie.”
Scenes from 12 ANGRY MEN raced through my head.
What is the morsel of this Morselist’s Tale?
In honor of Jury Appreciation’s Week, photo copy your certificate,
frame your certificate and
be darned sure to appreciate the fact that you’re the one INSIDE the the Juror’s Box.
Has this ever happened to any of you? Thoughts? Tips? Suggestions?